PR 4079 
.B6 L3 




sPwiPi 



FS;^r;/^^/?■CW^^f^^^'ri^A 



1 0-%'^'S''%'^s>'^'%''%»'^-^*%>-'-&>^ <@>'%.<%><%.'%>'%.^g) 

"library OF CONGRESS. 



I ^^M :..M£.J^^ t 

t 1 123^ t 

ii I UNITED STATES OP AMERICA. ^ 



iS^^AA^^w^^P^^^»Jv 






"^.Ann. .A» 



'^^^^AAAAA::AA«0^ 



^.■'::^:«„w#sAff-^ 



>^^ 



AA7 .«^^ 



mmmmmm 



'^imi^m 



^^M@?!5P^;»^»y;fr1(!»ib!:Ky| 



'^.f^.^.kmf^ 



^..MWmmN 



Mf^Wm^^ 



obI/v.'jIAaAa^ 






&"F*A8 






mm 



^%,,AAfte>'ftftftK 



m^Mi 



mmMm^^MM 



Ww- 



An A A AAI 



^A^^^^^P^-^ 



^^.^^f^A>^^ 



/ 

(ELTON 'S EDITION OF FARCES.) 



>J S EDmON OF FARCES.; 



THE 

A MUSICAL DRAMA. 
m ONE ACT. 

BY 

THOMAS HAYxNES BAYLY 

MEMBER OF THE DRAMATIC AUTHORS' SOCIETY. 

ACTTIIOR OF *' A GENTLEMAN IN DIFFICULTIES," " FORTY AND 

FIFTY," " THE CULPRIT," " THE BARRACS ROOM,'" 

" PERFECTION,". &C. &C. 

FIRST PERFORMED AT 

MADAME VESTRIS' ROYAL GLYMPiCJHEATRE 






N E W-Y O R K 



ELTON, PUBLISHER a nb EN.GR AVf.R, 

104 Nassaa, corner of Anii-St. and 134 Division. St 



18 38 



©l^AIMlATDi [PHIRiOM^, 






The Seneschal, - - Mr. James Bland. 

The Chevalier Duval, - Mr. Charles Mathews 

Francois, {A gardiner.) - - Mr. Keely. 

Suzanne {wife of Francois, a washer- 

woman,) Normandy peasant Madame VESTRiSi 

of the Canton Caen. 

The Marchioness de Vermont Miss Murray 

Servant of the Marchioness - 



Scene, near Caen in Normandy. 



COSTUME. 



THE SENECBAL— Black velvet dress, of 
the time of Louis 14th. — powder. 
THE CHEVALIER.— Light blue velvet dress of 
the same period, rich embroidered with gold — pow- 
der. 

FRANCOIS.— Drab dress, blue stockings. 
THE MARCHIONESS.— White silk dress 
ornamented with black rosetts— powder— jet orna. 
ments.. 

SUZANNE.— F/m dress— The high cap of the 
Canton Caen— light green body, wilh^ bright scarlet 
handkerchief, folded across the breast — petticoat of 
narrow stripes of all colours — black stockings sa- 
bots — a large rose-coloured umbrella. ^Second 
Bress—V'mk robe, open in front, and looped up all 
round — white petticoat — powder — white hat with 
roses and pink feathers. 



THE 

LADDER OF LOVE. 



SCENE I.— ^ room in Francois' cottage. Through 
the door in centre, a garden, green-houses, and stands 
for flowers are seen. Large French washing tubs, and 
table for ironing. Several peasants washing or iron- 
ing. 

CHORUS. (Mr, the opening chorus ojj^' The Postilion. 
Oh washerwomen gay, 
Are scrubbing- all the day,j 
They envy ladies gay, 
Who've nought to do but play 

But some gay folks 'tis true, 
Are in hot water too : 
And then, like us, how few 
With clean hands we can view. 

(Chorus) Oh ! washerwomen gay, &,c. 

The best I ever saw, 
May rub her knuckle raw, 
She'll never scrub the flaw 
From dirty suits — of Law ! 

(^Chorsu) Oh ! washerwomen gay, &c. 

Some make a splash — ^but quite 
Get damped in their delight ; 
We should work day and night, 
Could we — wash people white. 

(^Chorus) Oh ! washerwomen gay 



6 THE LADDER OF LOVE. 

Enter Suzanne with basket on her arm, (l.) 
Su. Now girls— go about your business, I' ve no more 
work for you to-day, but be here very early to-morrow. 
[Exeunt peasant girls, c. d] 
Su. Oh dear me, what a job I've had this morning. The la- 
dies up at the Chateau are so very particular — this is to be 
starched and that's not to be starched, one thing's to be 
pleated and t'other plain ! they never think of the poor 
washerwomen, not they; and I should like to know what 
would be the use of all their finery if we did'ntmake 'em 
neat and clean? Who cares for satins when cambric is'nt 
snowy? and as for jewels, what are brilliants of the-first wa- 
ter, if the Water in my tub has not done its duty ? Oh ! 
dear me I've been up to my eyes in suds ever since 
Francois went out to work. Why there's somebody in a 
grand carriage at the garden gate ! Dear me ! a grand 
young gendeman! what can he want at such an early hour? 
I'm glad husband's out husband's so jealous ! — he's com- 
ing up the gravel walk — he's stopping to pick a pink ; 
what a very nice young man ! how I wish I was in my 
Sunday clothes ; eh ! why it's my foster brother,the Cheve- 
lier Duval ! Pray walk in. 

Enter the Chevalier, at c. 

Chev. My dear, perhaps you can direct me to the cha- 
teau of the Marchioness de Vermont. 

Su Oh yes, I will direct you with pleasure. Have 
you walked far this morning. 

Chev. Curious to know why I came here, hey, pretty cne ? 
• Sa. Oh ! 

CAe?;. Very natural. I dropt from the clouds. 

Su. Law ! 

Chev. I feel as if 1 had, all here is so new to me ; in so- 
ber truth then, I've just come from Paris. 

Su. Paris ! Oh what a place that must be ; you look as 
if you came from Paris. 

Chev. Thank you, Suzanne, I appreciate the compli- 
ment; I've lived in Paris all my days, and now that I've 
made my debut in the provinces I'm like a fish out of wa- 
ter ; you understand my feeling I dare say. 

Sti. No I don't for I'm hardly ever out of water, I'm a 
washerwoman you know. 

Chev. True! Well my little washerwoman ; and is that 
pretty garden your's ? 



TnH LADDER OF LOVE. 7 

Su, That's Francois' garden, sir ; Francois is my 
iiusband, and my husband's a gardiner. 

Chev. Oh, you've got a husband then ? 

Su. Since I saw you I've got a husband— I married 
r rancois Dulatree, and — 

Chev. And so you're his wife— well, and isFracoisat 
home ? 

Su. No, but I'll shew you the way to the chateau. 

Chev, Not just yet my dear. Have you ever seen the Mar- 
chioness ? 

Su.^ No never, but she's very handsome, she's a widow 
poor tnmg. 

Chev Yes, and has vowed she will never marry again. 

Su. No, has she ! law how odd ! 

Chev Odd to make the vow, odder if she keeps it ; she 
was very much admired at Paris. 

Su. Oh so she is here, but they tell me she left Paris and 
came to this chateau, just to be out of the way of being 
courted. Law that's not like me— for were I to lose poor 
clear b rancois, sad as I should be, being courted would be 
a sort of comfort ; dont you think so ? 

Chev. Certainly, and when Francois does pop off, I hope 
tor your sake I shall be in the way. 

Su. Thank ye, I'm very much obliged ; though this cha- 
teau IS three leagues from Caen, I think comforters do 
come. 

Chev. Indeed ! tell me all about it. 

Su. One at all events : the Senechal. 

Chev. What ! an old fat frump ? All Senec hals are 
old lat trumps. 

Su. No indeed, this Senechal is young and not bad 
looking, and I hear he is often seen gomg to the chateau. 

G^ew. Indeed, you alarm me. 

Su. Law, perhaps you're come a comforting too. 

Chev. I— l_really I know not what to do, and' in my 
dilemma I really think, my pretty little Suzanne, I must ask 
your advice. 

Su. Oh do, I shall be so proud. 

Chev. Francois is not at home I think you said. 

Su. No sir, luckily— unluckily I mean. Francois will be 
out perhaps for two days, he's gone to some chateau 
r^T^ \now where ; so there's no fear of any interruption. 
Chev. Well, my dear the marchione«8 and I are cousins 



8 THE LADDER OF- LOVE. 

Su, Oh— aye— yes Iknowlv'e got a cousin, such a nice 
young man— but Francois dont like him— and— well sir, go 

Chev. Well, when the marquis died I instantly gave 
vent to my long felt, and very imperfecdy concealed passion 
for the Marchioness ; she however knowing I was not a 
marrying man— for as to not liking me that was quite out of 
the question. 

Su. Very true. , , , r 
Chev. Ordered me to leave her, and when she set out tor 
her chateau in this neighbourhood, she forbade me to fol- 
low, unless 

Su. Unless what ? , ^ j , 

Chev. Unless I immediately married; scarcely had she 
left Paris, when I wrote to say that I had followed her ad- 
vice, and married a charming country girl of large fortune, 
SD I requested permission to pay her a visit : I did not wait 
for a reply, but set off to Caen where her answer was to 
meet me ; and here it is. Hang it she's even with me, hap- 
py to 'receive me if accompanied by my bride. My bride ! 
this charming country girl of large fortune ! who exists no 
where but in my fertile imagination. The Marchioness will 
now discover the deception, and will never speak to me 

Su. Oh law, can nothing be done— can 1 help you in 
any way ? I'm but a silly body, but even if listening is any 
comfort to you you may talk, till I'm asleep ; not that I'm 
going asleep now. What can I do for you. 

Chev. You! oh no. Yet stay, that's just what I'm come 
about ; 

Su. Oh what's that to the purpose ? 

Chev. I said I had married a country girl. 

Su. Oh, but it can't be me you know, for I'm already 

Chev. No, no. But if I pay a short visit to the March- 
ioness with my bride she may afterwards be more inclin- 
ed to receive me engarcon. I want you to accompany me 
to the chateau, dressed as my bride. 

Su. I ! impossible. 

Chev. If you would only act the part for a few hours 
you would look it admirably. 

Su. No, no ; dont say that. 

Chev. Let me ask you one question : should you like to 
have a fme new gowu ? 



THE LADDER OF LOVE. 9 

Su. Oh, dear yes. 

Ckev. Powder in your hair ; and 

Su. You don't mean it ! powder ! 

Ckev. A ride in my carriage, and ten guineas in your 
purse. 

Su. Oh should'nt I. Stop ; what will my husband say ? 

Chen. You may tell your husand all about it. 

Su. Well then; but stop — he'll — want all the — money 
No if there's no harm, I'll consent without troubling him 
lor he wont be back till the fun is over. 

Chev. Well then come with me and I will give you full 
instructions. 

Su. Very well ! stop a bit, I must shut up shop — law 
now it rains. ^Puts up a shutter— gets a bright scarlet 
umbrella and puts it up) You. shall come under it sir; its 
big enough for tivo. 

Chev. [Aside] I'ts lucky I said a country girl it may 
prepare the Marchioness for some ways — are you ready ? 

(Aloud.) 

Su. Yes sir ; may I pick a bouquet as I go through the 
garden. However fine my clothes may be, I always think 
fresh, sweet, natural flowers an improvement. 

Chev. That's a fresh, sweet, natural thought, and I ap. 
prove it Gather your bouquet and then we will go. 

Su. Oh, thank you— I don't know their fine names as 
Francois does ; but I'll have roses and pinks, and the 
emony plant, and the one that smells like cherry pie, and 
the one that won't be touched as if it wasticldish ; oh, and 

Chev. But take care what you'r about, you're to be a fine 
lady recollect. 

Siz. Fine ! law no lady can be finer than the flowe rs 
and have'nt I kept ihem company all my life ? ' 



Duett. — (Air Calpagee.) 
Suzan. No school for grace like Flora's bower 
Fresh airs are found in every flower, 
And all the folks shall surely see, 
Something airified in me — 
Something airified in me. 



10 



THE LADDER OF LOVE. 



Chevalier. The pink of fashion praised and feted, 
They'll think you highly cultivated ; 
And so my dear you,K seem to be, 
Quite a sprig of quality — 
Quite a sprig of quality. 



Together. 



Oh as we pass along together. 

With silken robe, and flaunting feather 
The neighbours here a sight will see 
Never yet matched in Normandy — 
Never yet matched in Normandy. 

And as we sit up in the carriage [riage 
They'll think 'tis some great tip top mar- 

But what they think can notliing be 

To such sprigs of quality — 

To such sprigs of quality. 



SCENE 11.— An alcove in ifie garden of the chateau 
Vermont. The scene very much advanced to give room 
for the arrangement of scene III. 

Enter Francois with a wheelbarrow full of the cuttings 
of trees. 

Franc. How the little birds do twitter this fine morn- 
ing ! dear me — quite enviable, for I have nobody to twitter 
to ; my mate is safe at home in her nest — in her tub I mean 
— and if she's hatching anything it's mischief. Yet poor 
Suzanne, Imust'nt say that, she's a good girl in her way, 
and so pretty ! too pretty for me somebody said, but that 
was impudence. I think we're a very pretty pair, twin-ro- 
ses. Talking of roses I've got lots of trees to lop to-day, 
and I must go and throw all these cuttings behind the hedge 
—I won't be long though, for I've got one eye upon the 
Marchioness's dressing-room window though I'm out of 
the house. I'm almost sure I saw yesterday morning— 
but no matter, 1 might be mistaken ; but to-day at the same 
hour I'm determined to watch ; it's near the time— I'll go 
and empty my barrow, and then [Goes to the side— re. 
turns with empty harrow.] Now if any thing happens 



THE LiDDER OF LOVE. 



11 



without my finding it out, my name's not Francois. I'm 
certain there are secrets in this family; night blowing se- 
crets, that shut themselves up snug and demure in the 
dayhght. I'll find it all out ; hush— I thought I heard 
somebody or something — now for it. But dear me how the 
birds do twitter ! dear little things. 
Song. 
Little Toodlededoo was a dandy cock robin ; 
He was tied to his perch with a yard of blue bobbin 
His tail was no big-ger than that of a flea, 
Yet he thought it the handsomest tail that could be. 

Little Toodlededoo was so proud of his tail, 
That to shew it the better he hopped on a rail, 
When a hungry torn cat jumping over the wall, 
Swallowed up little Toodlededoo tail and all. 

Moral. 

Now all you young dandies who'er proud of your tails. 
For although you don't wear them the moral avails ; 
Whenever ycu'rebrag-ging 'bout this thmg and that 
Remember poor Toodlededoo and the cat. 

[Exit with wheelharroio.'\ 



SCENE 111. — A garden. To the right an arbour loith a 
garden sofa in it. On the left a pavilion, with a practi- 
cable door and balcony. On the right another building, 
which is part of the Marchionesses chateau ; it also has a 
balcony, and the windoios looking into both balconies are 
transparent, and have curtains. Both balconies are so 
placed as to be dsitincily seen by the audience. A gardener's 
double ladder is immediat/ely under the balcony to the right. ■ 
Enter Francois at the centre, peeping round the arbour 
at the balcony to the right ; he comes foncard on tiptoe but 
hearing a noise retreats in to the arbour. The windoio 
opens, R. and the Marchioness and i!/te Seneschal ap- 
pear on balcony to the right. 

March. Go — be careful — hush, no noise. I tremble 
lest you should be seen. 



13 THE LADDER OF LOVE. 

Sen. Must I then depart. 

March. Yes, yes — at once — but gently. 

Franc. Voices ! oh, oh. 

Sen. I cannot bear to leave you. 

March. For shame. 

Sen. The day so welcome to others is hateful to me 
The birds are happy, for they may hover round your win- 
dow, but I am miserable for I must leave you. 

March. What the Senechal so sentimental. 

Franc. {Aside. J The Senechal, ah ! ah ! 

March. Pray leave me, — were you seen I should be 
miserable ; there is the ladder. 

Franc. My ladder! 

>S'en. Adieu; dearest, once more adieu! [Kisses her 
and descends, 

March. Hist — are you safe ? 

Sen. Yes, quite safe and unperceived. 

Franc. {Aside.) Indeed ! 

March. Then leave the garden directly : that little pry. 
ing peeping gardner Francois will be here presently ; you 
have the master ke\', so hasten through the Utile garden 
gate before he arrives. 

Franc. Before he arrives. That makes me laugh. 

Sen. I shall be miserable till we meet again ; adieu. 

{Marchioness kisses her hand and leaves the balcony.) 
She is gone ! now then I will make the best of my way. 
{Is going hastily out at centre, runs against Francois^ who 
is coming out of the arbour.) 

Franc. Oh dear, my head — my all over ! Oh what 
are you about. 

Sen. Confound the fellow, an idiot. 

Franc. Oh, I'm broke in bits. 

Sen. What the deuce were you doing there ? 

Franc. And what the deuce were you doing there ? 

Sen. {Embarrassed.) I — oh — I — I — was just coming 
' Franc. Coming. 

Sen. That is — going. 

Franc. Oh, going. 

Sen. I — mean passmg from my chateau near Caen, and 
I stopt en passant — to — to 

Franc. Yes sir. 

Sen. To enquire after the Marchioness. ( Aside.) 
What would she say if she knew this fellow had seen me 

Franc. Then how did you get in ? I saw no one enter 



THE LADDER 0? LOVE. 18 

Sen. In ! — oh — at — at the court-yard. 

Franc. And now you're going out by the garden ? 

Sen. Well — of course why should'nt I. 

Franc. Because it's the wrong way. 

Sen. Yes — roundabout — but — I pp^ferred it, but what 
is that to you ; suppose I may go which wcy I please ? 

Franc. Oh, certainly, and it's lucky for me that you 
chose this path, because I wanted to ask your advic* 
about something very particular. 

Sen. Indeed ! well make haste — what is it ? 

Franc. Well you're just the man I wanted — for law- 
yers are a mercenary set — and a Seneschal is a deal better 
than a lawyer, because he'll give me advice free, gratis, 
for nothing — won't you ? 

Sen. Anything if you'll only make haste. (Aside.) 
So provoking to be detained here. 

Franc. You know this is the time «)f year when I go my 
rounds, to cut the trees in all the chateaus herebouts — it's 
my trade you know, you have your pursuits and I have 
mine — and this is it — I stay a day or two here, and a day 
or two there, till my jobs are all done. 

Sen. {Always looking at balcony.) Yes, yes— of 
course. 

Franc. Well then, the other night having worked very 
late in the garden of a beautiful lady — a widow ; I got tir- 
ed—for I'd had a drop of comfort that day, and when 
that's the case I d o get drowsy sometimes ; so I lay down 
to rest in — in an arbour — just such an arbour as that, when 
I heard a step on the gravel walk 

Sen. (Annoyed.) Well what then ? 

Franc. Oh then, my ladder — just such a ladder as that, 
began to walk about in the moonlight : I thought it was 
bewitched, but I soon saw that there was a man in the 
middle of it, who took it up, walked it over to a part of the 
house where there was a balcony — much such a one as that 
— (Pointing to the balcony to the right.) Walked coolly 
up. — got into the balcony — took a key out of his pocket — 
unlocked the glass door, and went in ! 

Sen. (Aside.) Hang it — he can't mean me. (Aloud.) 
well, and — and was it a — a robber ? 

Franc. (Innocently.) Why, do you know, that's just 
what I want to consult you about ; don't you think I ought 
to make this ksown, would you not »dvi0« me to gs to the 
police ? 



k 



% 



14 THE LADDER OF LOVE. 

Sen. Why — really — it — it would be difficult to identify 

the person, and 

Franc. Oil not at all. I know him well by sight — and 
could put my hand on him in a moment. 
Sen. Oh — are — are you sure of that ? 
Franc. Positive, and so I ask you what you think I had 
best do? 
Sen. Why, if you take my advice 
Franc. Yes. 

Sen. You will hold your tongue. 
Franc. And why should I hold my tongue ? 
Sen. (Aside.) He has seen me — I must silence him. 
Franc. I say, why should I be silent ? 
Sen. Why, there are weighty reasons. 
Franc. (Holdinglout his hand.) What are the weighty 
reasons ? how heavy are they ? 
Sen The fellow is a spy. 
Franc. The reasons — — 
Sen. A mercenary evesdropper. 
Franc. The weighty reasons. 
Sen. (Feeling in his pocket.) Contemptible. 
Franc. What are the reasons ? 

Fen. (Giving purse.) There — now will you hold your 
tongue? 

Franc. Oh yes, you have convinced me that silence 
best becomes me. 

Sen. But if you say a word to any one, and especially 

to the Marchioness I'll 

Franc. No, no — not a sylable, and see, here she 
comes. 

Sen. Hush ! 
Franc. Certainly. 
Enter the MARcmoNESS with a female servant d. R. from 
the chateau, r. the servant crosses to the pavilion. 

March. (To Servant.) Now be sure to arrange every 
thing i n the pavilion, for the apartments will be wanted to 
night. 

(Exit servant, L.) 
Se n (Aside.) Visitors expected ! 
March. ^(Aside.) What, still here. 
Franc. (Aside.) What will she say when she sees 
hill) I won dcr. 

March. (Aside.) How exceedingly annoying. (Aloud.) 
All Monsieur Ic ycncschd ; you here ! this is> kind indeed 



THE LADDER OF LOVE. 15 

you are come I hope to spend the day at my chateau, you 
owe me some recompense for the scarcity of your visits: 
I think it is a fortnight since we met. 

Franc. (Aside.) What a short fortnight — or else a short 
memory. 

March. {Aside Seneschal.) Why do you not speak. 

Ssn. Hem — Madam — you are most kind — but really 
serious business 

Franc. (Aside.) Business oh dear ! up my ladder. 

March. You here Francois. Did you speak. 

Franc. I — oh no. 

Sen. Oh I was speaking to him, I was asking him about 
the arrangement of some plantations I mean to make at my 
park. 

March. (Aside to Seneschal.) He did not see you. 

Sen. [Aside.] Oh no — certainly not. 

March. Well Francois now you may go and gather 
me a bouquet as usual. 

Fra nc. That I will — some of the new roses are in 
bloom. 

March. Apropos of the roses, when do you think you 
will have finished your work here ? 

Franc. In a day or two. 

March. But why are you in a hurry ? 

Franc. Oh my business keeps me from home sometimes 
for many days : I did not mind it formerly, but it wont' do 
now ; for besides my garden, Iv'e a wife that wants look- 
ing after, for she's very pretty. Her mother was a great 
lady. 

Sen. Indeed ! 

Franc. Yes — house-keeper at a lord's chateau ; and 
foster sister to a great gentleman, so she had seen fashion 
in her time and knows more a good deal than I do. 

March. You are notjealous I hope. 

Sen. I hope not indeed ; heigho. 

Franc. That's what T say, heigho — when I think of my 
wife sometimes. She's a terrible quiz, fond of fun — she 
has fun with everybody, and makes fun of me. But I 
must go and gather your bouquet madam, [Aside.] Oh 
what a cunning couple. She little thinks that I saw — hem 
— not a word. [Exit 

March. Why are you not gone ? 

Sen. This man was exactly in my way, I therefore 
pretended I was coming, instead of going. 



16 THB LADDER OP 1,0 VE. 

March. And the consequence was, though most par- 
ticularly angry I was obliged to receive you with a smile. 
I can't bear the sight of you to-day. 

Sen. An agreeable declaration for a husband. 

March. Husband ! Don't T know you're my husband 
without being reminded of it every minute. 

Sen. Nay my dear you are unjust. Really you ought 
to be too proud to subject your husband to the necessity of 
visiting you by stealth, climbing ladders in the dark, and 
getting into your dressing room window. 

March, rray do not think it necessary to come at all I 
beg. 

Sen. Nay, my dearest. 

March. Well — was it not understood between us before 
we married ? 

Sen. Yes, very true; I confess I did agree to it be- 
fore I married you, but it is vastly disagreeable, and I wish 
to hear better reasons for so extraordinary a stipulation than 
you have favoured me with yet. 

March. I have the best of reasons ; when I quitted Ver- 
sailles, I was a widow having lost a husband who had ren- 
dered me miserable ; I therefore declared fifty times before 
his majesty and the whole court that nothing should ever 
tempt me to marry again. They have laughed at me, de- 
claring that I should break my vow ; they were right, for 
scarcely did I find myself in the solitude of this chateau e'er 
your attentions, and the love which you professed 

Sen And which I feel. 

March. Well, I believe it — induced me again to marry 
hoping that I should find you as unlike my first hnsband 
as possible 

Sen. But no one at the court can blame you. 

March. Perhaps not, but I was weak enough to marry 
you when the three months of my mourning were unex- 
pired. After making such resolutions I confess I dare 
not encounter the raillery of my friends, laerefore to reward 
me for my acceptance of your hand, you must keep your 
promise, and allow the marriage to remain concealed, until 
the period of my mourning is over. 

Sen. Well I must submit, but when I am absent from 
you I am wretched. 

March. Not jealous ? 

Sen. Indeed I believe that it's partly the reason 



THE LADDER OF LOVE- 17 

March. Oh, if that is the case poor man, I suppose;! 
must let you stay, and must endeavor to find some plausible 
excuse. [ Produces a letter. ) To-day I expect a visit 
from my cousin. 

Sen. What that dissipated Roue of whom you have so 
often spoken, and who you told me has been in love with 
you so long. 

March. The very same. And now I will own that I 
did not mean to show you his letter, but since you wil re- 
main you shall hear it, even if it should render you a httle 
jealous. Listen. [Reads.] ' ' Adorable cousin, I have 
obeyed you — the sacrifice is accomphshed, and the vic- 
tim will soon be at your feet Your barbarity has done its 
worst, not only did you reject my suit." 
Sen. Oh, come, you did reject it. 
March. Don't interrupt me [Reads.] " you also had 
the cruelty to order me to marry somebody else ; I have 
obeyed you — I am married, and I doat upon you." 

Sen What ! married to another, and professing to 
doat upon you in the very same sentence ; oh, he must be 
even worse than you painted him. 

March. Hear the end ; [ Reads. ] " I have chosen a 
pretty country girl who is an orphan, and rich ; she has 
never been in society, and her naivete is diverting. I shall 
be at your feet on Monday." 

Sen. On Monday ! this day — and he does not say his 
wife is coming. 

March. Oh, I have taken care of that, I sent word that 
without her he would not be received. 

Sen. I have indeed no cause to complain ; hark, I 
hear a carriage. 

March. [Looking out.] They are arrived ; yes, I hear 
his voice. Now remember the part you are to play ; you 
are a neighbor, come to stay with me to meet my guests ; 
now, your hat under your arm — a deferential air — a tone of 
respect — and not a look of intelUgence for the world. 
Sen. I will be most careful. They are here. 

Enter Chevalier, l. u. e. 
March. Ah, my cousin ! you are welcome. 
Chev. Ah, dearest .cousin : give me your hand — that 
little morsel of living snow, give it to me, and let me press 
it to my lips. 

[Kneels, and kisses her hand.] 
March, Oh ! — if it were indeed enow, you would melt it. 



18 THB ULDDEB 01 LOTB. 

Sen. [Aside.] I don't half like thi» method of thawing 

sno V. 

March. [Anxiously.] But you are not alone ? 

Chev. [iSighing.] Ah, no. Fear nothing — I am obe. 
dient, thou cherished idol of my beating bosom, the being 
on whom my soul doats, fear not — I have married another. 

Sen. [Aside.] I'm particularly glad to hear it. 

Chev. My wife is at my elbow. 

March. That is right, she is welcome. 

Chev. But still my ardent vows are your's, beloved cous- 
in ; your wishes were my laws, and when I took unto my. 
8-lf a wife, I only did so that my obedience might give ev- 
idence of my devotion to you. 

Sen. {Aside.] The profligate. 

Chev. Your smile must now repay me for the loss of my 
freedom — but here comes my wife, you must make allow- 
ances for her rural manners. [Aside.] I hope she'll be- 
have herself properly. 

Enter Suzanne, curtseys down to the ground. 

Su. How d'ye do, hope you're pretty well ; Pm very 
glad to see you ; pleasant weather is'nt it after the shower ? 

March. You are welcome ; you must not consider me a 
stranger, we are now cousins. 

Su. Cousins! Oh, what a dear nice cosy cousin. — 
(Throws her arms round her neck.) I always kiss cousins 
— (having kissed the Marchioness she looks at the Senes- 
chal) — and perhaps sii you are a cousin too. 

March. No, no. The Seneschal — a neighbor of mine, 
who I am sure will be glad to make the acquaintance of 
my cousin and his bride. 

Sen. I am happy to have the honor of this introduc- 
tion. 

March. The Seneschal has favoured me with his com. 
pany knowing that I wished to do honor to your arrival. 

Su. Dear how kind, I beg your pardon sir, I thought 
you might be a cousin ! Dear me — when I know you all 
better I shall 

Chev. (Aside.) There, there, that will do. (To Senes- 
chal.) I am delighted to know you sir. 

March. [To Suzanne.] I hope we shall be able to 
amuse you here, and that you will not now bo weary of tht 
dullness of our •jountry ways* 



THK LADDER OF LOYB. 19 

Su. Who ? I ! Law no ; what could make you think 
of that ; it's a sweet place, such a nice garden ; and the 
kitchen garden which we passed is so well kept, cauliflow- 
ers as big as my head — I must talk about those cauliflow- 
ers to 

Chev. [Aside.] Hem — hush. 

Su. Oh — to — I forget who I mean to tell about the 
cauliflowers, but I'm sure I shall be very happy here. 

March. But your estate is very beautiful I dare say. 

Su. My estate ! 

Chev. Yes, yes, certainly — a charming abode, in an 
airy situation — [aside] and invisible to the naked eye. 

Su. Oh, splendid ! I forgot. Such a chateau ! and 
my father left it to me, and lots of money besides ; and 
then cows and horses, and pigs and sheep and turkeys, and 
geese, and pigeons. Oh, I do like to look at 'em billing 
and cooing 

March. (Laughing aside.) Well her rural ways ex. 
ceed belief. 

Su. [Has been inspecting the Marchionesses dress.] 
Beautiful embrodiery that, but'twould'nt look at any thing 
if 'twasn't well washed. That's uncommonly well got up 
— you wash at home I know {Chevalier stops her.) hey ? 
Oh, not that it signifies to me you know. 

Sen, [Aside.] This is most extraordinary. 

March. [Aside.] I must put an end to this scene. 
[Aloud.] As we dine late, perhaps you'll take some re- 
freshment. 

C Goes to th6 aide and makes a sign — enter servants uith 
cake and wine. 

Su. Oh, Vm so glad I'm so hungry. 

Chev. f Aside. J Now do not say that. 

Su. (^ Aside. J Why, if 1 don't say so, how am I to g-et 
any thing- ? I shan't starve for anybody. 

C Takes a piece of cake and glass of wine. J 

Chev. ("Takes wine. J Your health dear cousin ; this 
wine is excellent. 
Su. Oh excellent ! I am so happy. Now my dear cousin 
Marchioness be quite easy about your cousin, he has 
done an excellent job for himself in marrying me I can 
tell you ; when he first made love to me, I was shame 
faced and queer at being wooed by a grand man from 
court, but now, )»w bless you, I'm only to dance with, 
*nd don't value him a button. 1 ustd to dance onlv with 



20 THE LADDER OF LOVE. 

the village lads, who said lots of civil thing's to me ; then 
I was a simple g-irl 5 but now, oh, I can take his arm and 
strut about like a peacock in a farm yard. 

Chev You see my dear cousin the journey has rather 
exhilirated her ; she's quite giddy. 

Su. That's true and to tell you the truth, not being- 
used to ride inside the cai-riage it quite turned my 
head. 

OAeu, f Interrupting her. J Ahead-ache, yes — and a 
little repose will restore her. 

March. Nothing can be mxore natural. ("Ca//s. J Justine 

Enter Svsti^-e, from pavilion. 
Are the apartments ready ? 

Jus. They are quite ready madam. 

March. (To Suzanne.) Your room is in this pavilion 
I hope you will find it comfortable ; will you allow me 
to conduct you. 

Chev. Oh do not stand on ceremony with us you 
must not leave the Seneschal ; I will do the honours, and 
my bride wishes to repose awhile. 

March. Dinner is about to be served, shall I order it 
to be delayed for an hour or two ? 

Su. {Aside to Chevalier.) Not a bit of it, I'm so hun- 
gry — I must and will have my dinner 5 a pretty day's 
■pleasuring this will be indeed if I am to go without my 
dinner — I declare I 

Chev. (Aside.) No, no — hush — you shall have every 
thing you want. 

Su. (Aside.) Oh but are you sure of that ! 

March. What does she say. 

Chev. Oh only that her head is worse ; in fact she 
must go and lie down 5 perhaps you will send her a 
little broth. 

Su. (Aside.) Broth indeed ? that won't do for me, I 
hate broth and gruels and such stuff. 

Chev. Come my dear wife give me your arm and I will 
attend you. 

(He is going to lead her to the pavilion, Francois enters 
at centre with a hoquet.) 

Franc, (lo aUiiCHioNEss.) Here is a beautiful bo- 
quet madam. 



THE LADDER OF LOTI* 21 

Su. (Turning quicJdy and aside to Chevalieh.) Oh, 
g-ood gracious, it's my husband ! 

Chev, {Aside.) Your husband ! what Is to be done 
now. 

March. (To FRAXcois.)Give those flowers to my cou- 
sin, a strang-er who is just arrived. 

Franc. {To Suzanne.) Pray madam accept these ro- 
ses, you will not see finer in all Normandy. 

(Suzanne turns round.) 

J^rane. [amazemeni-) Why— her— no— my goodness 
gracious ! 

Sen. [Aside to Marchioness.] what can this mean ? he 
started, and looked frightened out of his wits, 

March. [Aside.] I cannot account for it ; look at her 
too, r shall never refrain from laughing-. 

Chev. {Aside.) I'm in a pretty predicament, I begin to 
wish I had staid at Paris. ' b 

Su. [Walking up to Francois and staring at him.] 
Stop a bit. That fig-ure ! that countenance ! Oh cousin 
oh good people— I know h\m— {to Francois) have I 
tound you at last, you miserable creature you— you— you 
terrible man ! Don't attempt to speak. Oh cousin ! 
oh sir ! it's a man I used to employ about my beautiful 
chateau ; and he did all sorts of mischief, and then ran 
away— I have not seen him these six months ; you saw 
now odd he looked when he saw me ! oh, he's a very 
bad person, {to Chevalier) Come let us e-o to our 
room. ° 

CAev. {Aside.) Anything to g-et awav. 
{They go into Pavilion The Seneschal and Marchion- 
ess m^er the chateau laughing .- Francois stands stupi. 
Jied.) ^ 

Franc. Have I been to the public house to-day ? — 
iNo— certainly not ! 1 can't be mistaken then ; if I had 
taken overmuch, I might take it into my head that every 

J\j^^^ was my wife— but I'm sober, sober and sad, 
and that fine person is from top to toe, Suzanne and no- 
body else. And yet, how can it be, dressed out so as I 
never saw the like ; and she talked of her servants- 
called me her servant— and a bad one too ! That 
could nt be Suzanne ! And then again she cuUed that 
gi^nd man her husband— oh ! there must be some mis- 
take ; — but there never vas such a likeness — her dear 



22 THE LADDER OF LOVE. 

little nose and the dimple in her chin. Law, I wish I 
had kissed her — or given her a chuck under her pretty- 
chin, then I should have been certain— but then if it 
was'nt her ! oh, a horsepond. Who's that? 

E7iter Chevalier and Justine /row pavilion. 

Chev. Don't mind what madame says to you— she 
says she wants her dinner— but the fact is repose is all 
she requires— tell the Marchioness I shall be witli her 
in a moment. 

( Justine crosses — enters chateau. R) 
Chev. [Calling c/ier Justine.] Say that madame does not 
require any dinner. .^ .r ^ j ,* 

Franc. [Aside. ] Oh that can't be my wife if she don t 
want her dinner. 

Chev. [To Francois.] She is coming down, idiot as she 
is, you of course know all, but if you betray me, I'll— 111 cut 
your ears off. i^^'^' ^•) 

Franc. Cut my ears off ! My gooodness what a threat— 

and she's coming down "idiot as she is !'; That was the 

gendeman's expression 1 It's my wife— can it be her— can 

Su. [ Who has entered unperceived.] Can it be her ? to be 
eure don't you know me ; ah 1 ah ! ah ! 

Franc. It is— oh law— I declare it is— I almost hoped it 

was'nt. 7 1 T I 

Su. Well, why don't you receive me properly— here 1 am! 

what ! no kind word ! no kiss ! 

Franc. Kiss ! kind word ! I say Suzanne— I've a sudden 

shiverinf^ feel about diat chap— you called him husband— 

what does it mean— I shall get desperate if you don't give 

me an answer. Ladies can't have two husbands. 
Su. Ha! ha! how well you act it. 
Franc. Act it ! Don't trifle with the feeUngs of adesper- 

ate man, I've that within me, which if once roused 

Su. Nonsense— I've made a good day's work of it ; see 

here, all for you. (^'''^'^^ ^"f "^ purse.) 

Franc. What's this ? a purse ? Ha, my blood runs cold 
fDroDS ?n— what means all this ? .„ , , ,• 

Su. Well now I will tell you all, if you will but believe 
me • you must believe me now, your own Suzanne. 
Franc. My own Suzanne ! I don't know that. 
Su. I'm only a make believe wife to that fine gentleman 
jiist for a day or so. 



THE LADDER OF LOVE. 23 

Franc. A day or so I A very^^odd lease to take of a valua- 
ble property. 

Su. He called on his way to the Machioness's, with 
whom he is in love, and she not loving him, refused to re- 
ceive him unless he brought a bride with him ; so you see I 
act the part of the bride. 

Franc. Oh, you act the part of the bride. 

Su. Yes, yes, just that he may get a footing here, 
nothing more. He's my foster brother, ChevaHer Duval ? 
He seems quite sure of winning the heart of his cousin; 
and now my dear Francois you can't blame me. 

Franc. [Picks up purse.] Well to be sure. Not that I 
quite approve — but then this purse is heavy — but acting 
the part of a man's wife ! — that fine dress must be worth 
a good deal ! — and 

Su, No doubt of it, and we shall have another purse by 
and bye, you will be rewarded with the money and as for me 
I've had amusement enough to last me for many a day. 

Song. — (Postilion.) 
Nay, now I see you are offended, 

Why turn away — and look so blue 1 
I soon should wish my splendour ended, 

If it divided me from you. 
Oh, I should have been twice as gay, 

Had you been there to seethe show; 
The coachman with his smart bouquet, 

The footman too, oh such a beau ! 
Oh ! oh ! oh ! off we go. 

There never was so fine a show. 



Oh how the neighbours all were staring ! 

Who would have guessed I was your wife 1 
I never yet had such an airing. 

Though I've been airing all my life ! 
I wish you'd seen us on the way. 

There never was so fine a show 
The coachman with his smart bouquet, 

The footman too, oh such a beau. 

Oh ! oh ! oh ! &c. 



24 THB LADDER OF LOVB. 

Su. What are you mumbling to yourself ? 

Franc. Oh — nothing. Just a little fancy that amused me. 

Su. don't tell me that — you've a secret. 

Franc. (Laughing.) A secret — perhaps I have. (Aside.) 
When I think of the Seneschal clambering up my ladder 
I cant help laughing. 

Su [Laughing.] How you do laugh ! — you infect me 
though I don't knovi^ the joke, but stop though, we mus'nt 
laugh so loud — don't you know I'm ill a-bed with a head- 
ache. 

Franc. Come then, here, and have some quiet chat in 
the arbour. 

Su. So we will — come we'll have quite a snug coze. 
(They go into the arbour and sit down talking earnestly, 
and laughing close together.) 

Enter 'Mxucriotst.ss from chateau. 

March. I must g-o and see how this poor invalid is. 
Su. Now my dear little Francois I hope you'reasy in 
your mmd, ha ! ha ! 

(Marchigkiss starts back — lights gradully go down.) 

Franc. To be sure I am your darling", you look so 
nice in those clothes. 

Marrh. (Aside.) Dear me, what does this mean ? 

Su. Was it not odd our meeting here. 

Franc. Fate brought us together you see — happy fate. 

March. [Aside-I Is it possible ? yes, it is my cousin's 
wife sitting in the arbour with the gardiner. 

Su. Well now, though I'm so fine, you're very happy 
by my side — confess, are you not ? 

Franc. Oh, but what an honor for me, to sit by the side 
of the chevalier's wife ! ha ! ha ! ha ! 

Su.. [Laughing.] Well, well — you're not jealous at 
all events ? 

March. [Aside.] He jealous ! what can she mean by 
that. 

franc. At first I was — but I've got over it now, it's 
lucky j'ou made me hold my tongue, or I should hare 
spoilt all. 

Su. To be sure, it would never have done for them to 
find us out ; that's the reason I told that story about your 
having worked at my grand chateau, ha I ha 1 



THE LADDER OF LOVE. 25 

Franc [Laughivg.] Your chateau ! ha ! ha ! ha ! 

Su. [Laughing.) Excellent, wasn't it ? my chateau ! 

March. (Aside.) What can this mean ? 

Su. But now hush — no more laughing — keep quiet ; 
what can it signify what these people think me ; I care on- 
ly for you, for I don't forget that you were my first partner 
at my first village ball ; and first impressions last long. 
So be discreet, and all will be well. 

3Ia.rch. (Aside, laughing.) Upon my word — this is 
rural innocence I suppose. 

Franc. Well then, now give me one of your sweetest 
little kisses. 

Su. That I will dear Francois — two if you like. 

fHe kisses her several times. J 

March. (Aside.) How very terrible this is. 

Su. (Rising.) Now you know we must take great 
care that nobody finds out who I am, so I shall go back 
in to t4ie pavilion. I say Francois, I'm so hungry. 

Franc. 3h I haven't said half I've got to say, nor kis- 
sed you to my satisfaction. Do stop a bit. 

Su. No, no ; I can hear no more now, wait till they 
are gone in to dinner ; and then, as they have put me 
alone in the pavilion, if you'll g-ive a gentle tap at the 
door I'll come and let you in ; be sure you bring- me 
something to eat. {They come forward.) 

March. {Hides herself in the arbour.) Something 
to eat ! what a sentimental attachment. 

Franc. Very comfortable arrangement. Oh, but the 
Chevalier — suppose he should come, 

Su. No, no — he's gone about some mischief Pm sure 
— but that don't concern me ; when he left me just now 
he bade me good bye until to-morrow. 

Franc. Oh, come, I'm glad that was the sort of ar- 
rangement he made ; don't forget to come when I tap. 

Su. No, no — how little they all suspect our little 
plans. Ha ! ha ! ha ! 

Franc. {Laughing ) No indeed — that poor infatu- 
ated Marchioness. Ha ! ha ! ha ! How little she thinks 
— ha ! ha ! ha ! 

Su. {Laughing.) It's too good — too funny. Ha ! 
ha ! ha ! 

March, {Jiside.) What infamous conduct : Vm furi«us. 



26 THE LADDER OF LOVE. 

Chev. {Without.) Where is the Marchioness ? I 
can't find the Marchioness any where. Cousin, where 
are you. 

Fra7ic. Here's somebody coming". 

Su. So there is. I must go — but we shall soon meet 
again — bring me a nice bit of chicken — the Uver wing 
mind; [Enter pavilion, l. 

Franc. Good bye — and now I'll be off. Cunning 
creatures we are. 

March. {Comes forward.) Oh, the poor miserable 
deceived Chevalier. Roue as he is I really pity him. 

Enter Chevalier r. 

Chev. Oh my dear cousin — how abruptly you left us 
in the middle of dinner. 

Enter Seis-eschal r. 

Sen. {Aside.) I knew he was seeking his cousin — 
I don't half like it. 

March. {Aside.) Here I am 5 I was just thinking of 
you dear cousin. 

CJtev. Indeed ! and pray what makes you so gay. 

March. I have just seen your wife. 

Ctiev. Oh, you have. 

March. {Laughing.) Yes, and you certainly descri- 
bed her to the hfe. 

Chev. Indeed, you think so. 

March. [Laughing.] To be sure — rural— and not ex- 
actly used to the ways of the world we live in. Her 
naivete is quite extraordinary, and so is lier originality. 

Chev, She seems to have amused you. 

March. I'ree and easy. 

Chev. Hem— yes — rather — but her head ache. How 
is that ? 

March. Oh she has found a remedy for that — indeed 
she seems quite to have forgotten it. She has been 
talking greatly to my amusement. 

Chev. All no doubt, I don't wonder at your laughing, 
but 1 don't come liere to talk of her, want a tete-a-tete 
with you, to talk on very different subjects. The Sen- 
eschal says he will be obliged to leave you now, and has 
been looking for you to say adieu — now let me beg that 
yon will expedite the good man's departure. 



THE LADDER OF LOVE. 27 

Sen, (Jside.) Indeed! Talks thus to my own wife ! 
in my own house I I should like to give him reason to 
remember who is master here. 

March. Ah he is here, (to Seneschal.) I fear it is late 
for you to set out, will it not be dark before you reach 
home. 

Chev Yes, yes — very dark, if he don't go immediate- 
ly. I should advise you, my good sir, to set out as 
soon as possible ; you have no time to lose. If I can be 
of any use ordering- earriag-e, horse, or servant^ pray 
command me. 

Se7i. Thank you sir. 1 have no occasion for your 
services. (Aside.) Insupportable cockscomb 

March. (Aside to Seneschal.) 1 wish you would go 
just for the present. (Aloud.) My regard to your good 
aunt and your pretty sister. (Aside.) Wait for me at 
the end ot the avenue. 

Sen. (Aside) I understand — (Aloud ceremoniously.). 
Pray Madam accept my — 

Chev. (Interrupting him) Yes, yes — ^good night — take 
care of yourself. 

March. Good night. 

Chev. You'll have a charming trot home — a little, 
dark or so ; and the roads are sloppy — but never mind 
good night. 

Sen. I'm quite sorry to- — 

Chev. Yes — sorry : but can't be helped — we're sorry 
too to lose you of course, but your good aunt will be sit- 
ting up for you, so good night — I wish you a very good 
night. (Boioing him out.) 

Sen. (Aside.) I'll be even with you — (Aloud.) Good 
night. [Exit 

Chev. What a bore country neighbours are. 

March. 1 beg your pardon cousin, if yon allude to my 
friend the Seneschal, 1 consider him a very charming 
agreeable person, he is a great favorite of mine, and a 
great acquisition here. 

Chev. Indeed ! Well I have'nt time to talk about 
him, nor will we waste in idle conversation the hours 
that should be devoted to sentiment. That I adore you 
you already know. 

March. (Aside.) I must contrive to get rid of him. 



*J8 THE LADDll OF LOVS. 

Chev. Do come and take, a walk with me, in a shady 
grove or by some rippling stream. 

March. (Assuming gaiety.) Well — really — I — I 
can't refuse. Oh' but stop you must go to your wife for 
a few moments, just to account for your absence, it is 
quite dusk already. I will wait here for you and when 
you return 

Chev. Well? 

March. {Affectedly. ) Then for the grove, and the path 
by the rivulet. 

Chev. A thousand thanks, I shall not be many 
minutes. She is a mild obedient jittle thing, and I shall 
easily persuade her 

March Go, go at once — the sooner you go the sooner 
1 may expect you. 

Chev. That is true, I shall not say good bye, I shall 
return immediately — (Aside as he enters the pavilion.) 
She's mine ! the widow's mine ! she has promised to 
walk with me. Oh, what an irresistable creature I am. 

(Exit L.) 
March. ( The moment he has entered runs to the door — 
locks It takes out the key and speaks through tlie key-hole.) 
Ha! ha! — now my fine cousin 'tis my turn to laugh. 
You are safe there till morning. Good night — goodnight 

Chev. ( Within.) Hollo tlier*' — what are you at ? 

March. 1 have only locked you up, that's all I hope 
you'll sleep well. 

Chev. But cousin, cousin — let me out. 

March. Oh no, no — good night — 1 shall see you to- 
morrow morning — (Aside.) 1 have now disappointed 
two very improper people. The gardiner will find it 
difficult to get in, and my cousin equally so to get out 

(It gradually gets dark) [Exit. 

Su. (appears on the balcony of pavilion.n) What 
noise was that in the garden 7 — all seems quiet now I 
wonder where they all are ? 

Chev, (Appears by her side.) What a shameful trick. 

Su. Oh dear how you frightened me, is that youl 

Chev. To bo sure it is — dont you see mo. 

Su. No, 1 scarcely do — and what business have you 
here 1 1 told Francois you were not coming back, and 
told him to come and knock gently at the door, and 



THI LADDER OF LOVE. 29 

"whon he finds you here he'll kick up such a row. 

Chev. Well, 1 can't help it — it's not my fault — the 
Marchioness has locked me in, and I suppose you 
would have me risk my neck by jumping out of the win- 
dow. 

Su. Oh yes, I would. Dear, dear, what will become 
of me — what did the lady lock you up for. 

Chev. Indeed I dont know. {Leans over to listen.) 
I hear nothing. She is certainly gone, so here I must 
stay all night. 

Su, Indeed vou shall do no such thing. Get out of the 
window instantly, I desire you. 

Chev. I can't — and what's more I won't try. Here's 
a pretty situation. I'm sure I hear somebody in the 
garden — hush 

Su. Oh if it's Francois it's all over with me — he's so 
jealous. Hark — there certainly is some one. 

{They lean over and lieten.) 

Enter Francois, c. 

Franc. Every thing seems quite quiet. 

Su. (Aside to Chevalier.) Here is my little man. 

Franc. 1 wish all this masquerading was over. The 
more I think of that ride in the fine gentleman's coach, 
the less I like it; though she is his foster sister. I'll have 
no more such doings ; one comfort is he shan't come 
near her again ; if he does — I'll cut my own throat 
— or his — or my wife's — or all three together. 

Su. (Aside.) Oh, only hear him ! 

Chev. (Aside.) Hush, he can't get in. 1 

Su. (Aside.) Oh, but then you can't get out. 

Franc. (Taps at the door.) Suzanne, Suzanne, I say : 
why dear me the door is locked and the key gone. — 
Suzanne, here's something to eat — nice bones to pick. 

Su. (A-ndeto Chevalier.) I must answer him (Aloud,) 
Hush, is that you. 

Franc. Hey — why — oh up there ! Law Suzanne, is 
that you up aloft. Dear me, why don't you come down 
and open the ddor. 

Sn Oh my dear Francois I can't — the door's locked. 

Franc. I know that, and that's the very reuion 1 want 
you to unlock it. 



30 THE LADDER OF LOVE. 

Hhi, But I can't, the Marchioness has locked me up 
and has carried away the key. 

Franc. Oh nonsense — bother. 

Su. Indeed it is true my dear hubby; 

Franc. Oli pooh, stuff" — I hate such jokes. Come 
open the door — and I say, by the bye, what's become 
of that fine g'entleman. 

Su. Why hew should I know. 

Franc. Then you are alone, of course — hey ? 

Su. Alone ! oh yes, to be sure. 

Franc. Oh then stop a bit, you shan't be alone lon^ 
— I've g-ot my ladder here, and I'll be up in the balco- 
ny in a minute. 

Su, f Aside. J Oh good gi-acious ! f Aloud. J No, no 
— you'll tumble — the ladder can't be safe. 

(Francois bringing the ladder under the halcoiiy.) 

Oh never fear. (Aside. J My ladder's used to it — 
It has seen a deal of service in that way ; my ladder's the 
ladder of love. 

Su. [Aside.] Oh, I shall fall down in a faint. 

Chev. ( Touching tlie top of the double ladder. — Aside.) 

Here it is — hold your tongue — trust to me 

Francois begins mounting on one side. 
Now for it. 

Su. [Aside .] Here he comes ! 
(Chevalier, as Francois goes up one side hegins to 

descend on the other.) 

Franc. [On the balcony.] Here am I. 

Chev. [On the ground.] And here ami. 

Franc. And now come in my dear, 

[Goes m with Suzanne.] 

Chev. [ Taking off his hat and bowing to the balcony. ] 
Your most obedient very humble servant, — T wish you 
a very good night ; and now that it is quite dark, I must 
think of my adorable cousin. [A light appears in the 
chamber of the Marchioness ] Ah a beacon, that must 
be meant as a guide to me. I have but one fault, and 
that is being too fascinating, too irresistible. All the 
poor little darling women do so doat upon me, and my 
cousin is no exception to the general rule. This ladder 
shall aid me again ; it's an awkward thinjr to ci^rrv — 
never mind. 



THE LADDER OP LOVE. 81 

ISte Carries it across to the balcony of the chateau r. Sex- 
EscHAL enters at the hack. 

Sen. [Iside.] I must not mtilve a noise, no doubt eve- 
ry body is asleep — I must look for the ladder. 

[7'Acy both feel about in the dark.'] 

.Sen. [.Iside.] There is the usual sig-nal; — she is 
waiting for me. Ah! the ladder is here. 

[Goes to one side of the ladder.] 

Ckcv^, [Aside.] Now for it then, 

{Goes to the other side of the ladder.) 
They hoth go up the ladder together, on the different sides 
— and knock their heads together on the top.) 

Both. Oh, what's that. Good gracioua. 

Chev. Why. who are you. 

Sen. You here. 

Chev. The Seneschal ! I am ashamed of you — how's 
your aunt ? 

Sen. [Taking off his hat.] Your most obedient sir. 

Chev. [Bowing hat off.] I liope you're well this 
evening Mr. Seneschal. The fact is I'm in love with my 
cousin. 

Se7i. You sir ! I'd have you to know that I love her 
to distraction. 

Chev. Then I demand satisfaction — zounds, we'll as- 
tonish the world — for we'll fight a duel on the top of a 
ladder. 

Sen. Come down, sir. 

Chev. (Descending.) Certainly — (Advancing.) but 
whnre's the Seneschal. 

Sen. (Still on the ladder.) Good night — He goes 
on the balcony.) you see I've a master key. He opens 
the glass door, and goes in — it closes. 

Chev. Why I protest he has a key of her chamber 
— he is gone, and here am 1 by myself. A happy couple 
in each house, and 1 alone out in the dew — ^I'll rouse 
every body. Hollo there, (calls, and stamps about in a 
rage.) Hollo, I say, Francois — Mr. Seneschal — servants 
— Hollo, there ; very strange doings — liollo — wiJl no- 
body comj. Hollo! I declare its beginrjng to rain- 
hollo ! 



33 



THE LADDER OF LOVE. 



The Marchioness appears on balcony to the right Vfith 
the Seneschal, loho has on ahandsome dressing gown 
and cap. Suzanne appears on balcony to the left with 
Francois — all four have wax candles in their hands. 

March. Who is that 1 1 desire no one will disturb 
me and my husband. 
Chev. Husband ! 

Su, And we don't want to be disturbed either ; for 
I and my husband are very tired^ 
Chev. Your husband too ! 

March. I*\Va^ not aware of that myself— it seems 
then that you are left to single blessedness. You have 
endeavored to trick me, and deserve to be laughed at. 

Su. So he does madam — and 1 for one will laugh 
with all my heart. I hope the laugh vill be infectious. 
Franc. Poor man — 1 pity him — -we'll leave him in 
the garden to frighten away the birds. 

March. Goodnight cousin. Here's a cloak to keep 
you warm. {Throws a large cloak from balcony.) 

Su. (Throws an umbrella. They all laugh.) And an. 
umbrella to keep you dry. 

Chev. (Puts on cloak and spreads umbrella.) Here's a 
pretty -ituation. 

Chorus. — Galop in Beniowski. 
Ha ! ha ! ha ! you silly wight 
Ha ! ha ! ha ! how sad your plight ! 
Ha ! ha ! ha ! it serves you right ! — 
Ha ! ha ! ha ! good night, good night. 

Suxanne. Pretty man ! seductive wight ! 
Too pliant ! and too polite ! 
Thus your conduct\ve requite ! 
Ha ! ha ! ha ! good night, good night ! 
Ha ! ha ! ha ! 

During chorus^ Chevalier takes the cloak — wraps him- 
self up — and disconsolately lies down on the garden 
sof'Ut in the arbour. When it is ended the other characters 
appe ar retiring, as the curtain falls. 






W^AAK^^^^ft 









■«Si«P!W*/S, 



,^A>r;AA 






'fAr^A^. 



^ftAOA- 



•."sAwa'SA 



''"'f^hAKh?'. 



Deacidified using the Bookkeeper process. 
Neutralizing agent: Magnesium Oxide 
Treatment Date: March 2009 

PreservationTechnoIogies 

A WORLD LEADER IN COUFCTIONS PRESERVATION 

111 Thomson Park Drive 
Cranberry Township, PA 1 6066 
(724)779-2111 



• / i ■ 7^ r- 



m^mMmm'' 



.'^^AAKAA^AnA, 



Mmm'Mh 









fM^AAft./;^A' Aa 






